soporeffective | 001 ♑ [video/text + action for new bark]

001 ♑ [video/text + action for new bark]

[The video feed switches on, but for some reason, Gamzee starts to type instead of speaking, not even looking into the camera. Perhaps he hadn't noticed he'd initiated the video function, as well. He's got a messy mop of curls on his head, and they insist on falling in his eyes every time he brings that painted face down to look at his Pokégear.]

HeYyY My rIgHtEoUs fReAkY-DeAkY PiNkLaNd iNhAbItAtInG MoThErFuCkErS. :o)
Or wHoEvEr aLl mAy bE At bEiNg tHe mOsT MoThErFuCkIn lUcKiEsT Of rEcIpIeNtS At mY TeXtUaL WeLl-wIsHeS.
I Be aLl sEeMiNg tO Be aT Up aNd hAvInG WhAt's aLl gOtTa bE BeInG LiKe, ThE MoSt wIcKeD Of hAlLuCiNoGeNiCaLlY InDuCeD PiE DrEaMs a mOtHeRfUcKeR WaS EvEr aLl tO Be uP AnD HaViNg fOr hImSeLf, HaHaHa!
I WaSn't eVeN AlL KnOwInG WhAt i cOuLd bE Up iN A PlAcE FoR ImAgInInG BeInG OnE Of tHeM WhO'S AlL SkInNeD In tHe bRoWnY PiNk sHaDeS.
WhAt aLl a bRoThEr's tHiNkPaN CaN Be gEtTiNg aT BeInG ImAgInInG In cOnTiNuEs aLl tO Be a mOtHeRfUcKiN MiRaClE EaCh aNd eVeRy gOd dAmN DaY! :oD

[He looks genuinely carefree, a big ol’ grin slapped on his face. Soon enough, however, his expression falls into that of a more thoughtful nature, though it retains all of its pleasantness.]

BuT, uHhH...
CoUlD I AlL MaYbE Be aSkIn oN A LiTtLe mOtHeRfUcKiN AsSiStAnCe iN, lIkE, wHaT ThE FuCk i'm tO Be uP AnD DoInG AbOuT WoRkIn tHeSe fUnKy hUmAn dIgS?
AnD FuRtHeRmOrE, mAyBe bE GeTtInG YoUr eXpLaIn oN At mE WhY AlL I GoT A FaT PiNk mOtHeRfUcKeR AlL PlOpPeD Up nIcE AnD CoMfY In mY DaMn lAp?
AlL I WaS DoInG WaS GeTtInG My bOnK AnD PrOd oN At tHe fUnNy mOtHeRfUcKiN JuGgLe bAlLs i gOt hErE WiTh mE WhEn dUdE Up aNd iNvAdEd mY MoThErFuCkIn bUbBlE LiKe hE AlL WaS OwNiNg tHe hIvE.
NoT ThAt iT AiN'T No tHiNg, I AlL Be a bRoThEr bElIeViNg iN ShArInG ThE MoThErFuCkIn sPaCe. :o)
I ThInK ThErE WaS SoMe mAnUaLs oR FuCkIn sOmEtHiNg bUt i aIn't sUrE WhErE AlL ThOsE DuDeS WeRe tO Be gEtTiNg uP AnD At.
ThInK I AlL WaS To dRoP ThEm wHeN I SpIlLeD ThE StUfF OuT Of mY HeLlA DoPe bAcKpAcK.
If nOt, It aIn't nO BiG!
I Be aLl sUrE In tHiS MoThErFuCkEr fIgUrInG ThE NoIsE WhAt's lIkE ThAt iS AlL MoThErFuCkIn sTrAiGhT OuT AnD ShIt!
MiRaClEs dOn't fAiL To bE GeTtInG ThEiR HeLp oN At nO MoThErFuCkEr iN NeEd!

[Gamzee takes a moment to visually assess his message, eyes slowly drifting across the screen before becoming obviously distracted halfway through and flicking up to stare at his surroundings. The feed remains on indefinitely.]

☮☮☮

[Later, he had taken to walking. Gamzee had never before tread with feet whose toenails did not push up against the tips of his sneakers. Never before had his head felt so weightless, bereft of its usual pair of massive horns and pointed ears. He could have likened it, perhaps, to the feeling of disjointed euphoria he’d always experienced from a choice tin of sopor – that first taste when you know the shit’s still hot but you all get to be bringing it up in for a taste anyways? Yeahhh. That’s the one. In fact, that wasn’t far off from what he’d been telling himself ever since he’d woken up in this place, disoriented yet pleasantly curious. He’d been briefed about his stay and his new partner, information he paid little attention to, because rules and regulations were just stuffy drivel that no decent whimsical motherfucker ever was to be getting his follow on of. Besides, the scenery and lushness of the land here was too distracting for him to have listened to that hoofbeastshit even if he’d wanted to.]

[Attempting to coerce any sort of conversation, decipherable or not, from the fat, pink creature that was apparently under his immediate supervision proved to be a fruitless endeavor. The only responses he got from it were extremely drawn-out and seemed to tax the thing more than Gamzee was interested in doing. It wasn’t chill to be all forcing a bro to be speaking when all he wasn’t feeling on doing it, for sure. He figured he’d supply the conversation for the both of them, hoisting the little dude (who was decidedly not little) up into his arms and lugging it along as he wandered down the 29th route.]

So, like, you all get your motherfuckin’ live on at what’s this greeny-planty joint all’s at being?

[He began, turning a blithe gaze towards the treetops and carrying on barefoot. His things had been packed away in the bag slung over his shoulder, but Gamzee had neglected to zip it up properly. As a result, all of his belongings were tumbling out of the knapsack as he continued down the trail.]

Or maybe you all is fuckin’ just being a dopey dreamer like this motherfucker? Get your wake on up in here like all just was to be doin’?

[He jostled the critter in his arms, attempting to elicit a response. It stared blankly ahead, swishing its tail laboriously.]

Bro of silence, ain’t you motherfuckin’ just? Nah, no worries, my wicked motherfucker. You ain’t gotta be speaking for all the motherfuckin’ miracles to get their hear on of you. Miracles be a funny motherfucking thing, in that they all be having their notice going of you when all you be least expecting it. Be what’s so fuckin’ great on them brothers, you know?

[He laughed to himself, readjusting his grip on his new friend as his new, pink-skinned feet turned a more familiar gray from the dirt and dust they were collecting.]

No offense to your ass, motherfucker, but I all be hoping I be snappin’ up out this halluci-motherfucking-nation sooner than fucking later, ’cause now that I be thinkin’ on it, I was pretty sure on what I got somethin’ important goin’ on that fucking needs all going back to...

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[The hobo-looking youth may find his one-sided conversation with his new companion interrupted rather spontaneously. By what? Well, firstly the yelp and thud of a young lady falling smack on her face some short distance behind him, though that may not have been the thing that'd catch his attention. What should, however, is the yelling that soon follows, and the stomping of an angry looking girl - and a small, baby bear like creature behind her - invading his personal space very quickly.]

OI, YOU! [She appears to be dragging a pair of pants on the ground at her side before thrusting them at the moron's ugly...p=painted face. Stupid.] I just fell over these, you idiot! Zip up that bag of yours, I almost hurt myself!

[You're correct in assuming that the first set of sound effects was not enough to rouse this boy from his intense conversation, be it one-sided or not. However, it is very difficult for even the thickest of skulls to be oblivious to the caliber of shrieking that Gamzee was being bombarded with now.]

[He'd startled immensely, jolting into the air with a "honk" that squeaked from his throat as much as you'd expect it to. The surprise also caused him to tighten his hold on his companion, who... didn't seem to be that affected, actually.]

[Stumbling over his own feet, Gamzee did a clumsy about-face to confront the shrieking menace that had assaulted him with his own pants.]

Motherfuck, hahaha!!!

[Bending over to release his friend to the safety of the ground, Gamzee pulled the garment off of his face as he stood back up, finally setting eyes on the person he'd unintentionally slighted.]

Shiiit... [His manner of speaking was almost as slow as his partner's. What a pair.] Wasn't getting my intentions on at makin' you all sorts of upset, girl.

[He blinked a few times, staring at the pants in his hand, then back up at Perona.]

The fuck were you doin' stealing my trousers, though?

[Great. His memory was faulty, too.]

[Immediately Perona sees that this conversation will be very, very long, and a completely test of her already frayed patience. The dim look of both human and animal(?) suit the other perfectly, but Perona excuses the pinker of the two - that one's at least some semblance of cute. The male, on the other hand...he grated painfully on Perona's nerves. From his appearance to his drunken looks to his manner of speech and finally how he just acted. It was positively infuriating.

And she snaps, disregarding his apology, the moment she made that last statement there. Her little bear hangs back, and eyes Slowpoke curiously, its gaze moving only a few times back to his owner and the other human.]

I didn't--what would I want with your disgusting, filthy clothes, you idiot?! Were you even listening to what I said before?! [She jabs a finger at his bag.] Your bag! It's open, and spilling all your things all over the ground. And I tripped over these because you're too stupid to zip it up properly!

[Hers in slung over one shoulder like a purse, thank you very much.]

[All of this yelling was assaulting his sleepy brain at once, and, therefore, none of it was being retained. Gamzee's eyes went in and out of focus, trying to keep his attention on the ornery girl (and failing miserably). He did manage to gather that his bag was mysteriously opened, and he'd lost a fair share of his belongings behind him.]

Oh...

[Slowpoke had taken this opportunity to realize that it had been squeezed extra hard, from when Perona had first startled Gamzee. It let out a concerned squawk of a disapproval, as if it had been squeezed at that very moment, and not two minutes prior. This earned a backwards glance from Gamzee, whose eyebrows drew up in confusion to the whole situation.]

[Momentarily, he turned back to Perona.]

Ain't gonna stop my goods from makin' a motherfuckin' run for it if all that's what they be wanting to get up and to do, yo.

[He shrugged, now lamenting the loss of his clothes. He'd woken up in this strange outfit, and the clothes strewn on the ground were his old, dark trollwear. He'd have to backtrack and try to find it again.]

Or, maybe the dudes was helping me get my see on of a bigger miracle!

[He beamed, tilting his head slightly.]

Got myself a pair of new motherfuckin' friends, yeah?

[This guy makes absolutely no fucking sense.]

[But at the very least Perona can...kind of see what he's getting at, and she draws back very fast. Oh no, ooooh no! Hell no. Making a face, she herself begins to lament the loss of something of hers - her powers. Oh, if one she had her Hollow Hollow Fruit powers still, this twittering idiot would be wishing he was never even born! It'd be so funny, and it'd make her feel so much better. Nrrgh... She can possibly club him with her rolled up parasol...or just kick or punch him in the face - she has good aim.]

I hope you're not insinuating anything, you filthy monkey! I am not your friend! Neither you or your fat, pink, frog! ...Ah, Bearsy, don't touch it. [She bends down to scoop up her little bear cub into her arms, who was reaching out a curious claw to prod at Slowpoke.] Judging by the condition of them both, I'm sure whatever it has is contagious. And I can't heal stupidity.

[Gamzee's face scrunched up in disapproval.]

I ain't much being caring on if you motherfuckin' dis me and whatever fuckin' threads I may or may fucking not be spillin' from this bag of mine.

[He frowned. The expression was bereft of anger, and was more of a pleading look than anything unpleasant.]

But don't be takin' the shit all out on my fuckin' frog. He ain't done nothing to you, lady.

[Crouching down, he patted Slowpoke on the head, offering him one of the berries he'd collected earlier as a token of Perona's apology that he probably wouldn't be receiving.]

She don't mean that, little dude. It's all good.

[He rose again, tossing his pants into the part of his backpack that was still hanging open.]

And we both be monkeys now, in case you all was never to take a glance in a reflection frame lately.

[Perona's eyebrows knit together at the look she's given, matching the disdainful gaze appropriately. Only for a second does she cast her gaze to Slowpoke, who...hasn't really changed much, appearance wise, before looking back to the dirty young man. Eugh, she will not be talked down to by this dirty grub. That's just insulting to her ego.]

Fine. But only because your frog looks only a little bit cuter than you. [Yet she does not openly apologize.] ...And there is a wide gap in differences between you and I. Appearance and personal hygeine being the first on the list, and intelligence falling close behind. So don't insult me by comparing yourself to me.

Just pick up your things before you really do hurt someone, and so I can leave. [She readjusts Teddiursa in her arms, puffing out her lower lip and muttering.] There wasn't even anything valuable for me to take...how annoying.

Do that mean you thinkin' on me a brother what's motherfuckin' cute?

[He grins, teeth feeling too wide in his mouth, with a some awkward gaps in between a few of them, as well. As she spoke, his face fell, but he didn't quite lose his smile.]

Nah, would never be all even considerin' thinkin' I was all at a place to be in the same as the one what's all you're up and at, motherfucker.

'Cause I ain't got as nice a rack, mostly.

[Peorna grimaces, her nose scrunching up at that disgusting, shit-eating grin spreading across this idiot's face. Oh, if only she had her ghosts, she'd shut him up right here and now. He'd be feeling like he should - that he shouldn't even exist, or acknowledge what a wretch he is, and wish for death. If only.]

Don't fool yourself. What I meant was--

[And then he makes that comment. It takes a second or two for Perona to decipher his garbled sentences and speech pattern, but she knows exactly what he was talking about right then and there. Her eyes widen, and then her eyebrows knit together furiously, shoulders hunching up. With the absence of her powers, there's really only once course of action to take in this kind of situation.]

[Justified violence.

Her fingers tightens into a fist and she rears it back for the necessary momentum to drive it right in this moron's mouth. See how well he grins after that! Perona knew he was a fool, but she didn't expect him to be a pervert on top of all that, too. Ugh, she should have known...too many men have that side to them.]

YOU--! Don't you dare speak to me like that, you inexcusable beast! You're lucky hitting you is all I can do like this! If I had my way, I'd blow you full of holes with my ghosts!

[He honestly was not expecting to be struck. Gamzee's head snapped to the side, lips and nose making a gross, wet noise as her fist popped the skin there. After her knuckles had left his face, they were quickly replaced with Gamzee's own palm. It clapped over the injury, attempting to ease the pain there as quickly as possible.]

Fuuuuck...

[He could taste the metallic tang of blood on his tongue and in the back of his throat, but nothing had spilled down his face. After a few seconds, he removed his hand, tentatively pressing his tongue against the now-swollen edge of his lip.]

That what you all motherfuckin' do to any chump what pays you a motherfuckin' compliment?

[From anyone else, these words would have come with a patronizing, arrogant tone, but Gamzee was not anyone else. He honestly believed he was paying her a compliment, and wasn't quite savvy enough in the nuance of socially acceptable terms and cues. Instead, the words fell out sort of sheepish and confused.]

[Oh, ugh, she got his sick blood on her hand! Furiously, Perona began wiping it off, on her bag - because like hell she's going to sully her gown. Her knuckles also ached, but it was a dull pain, the adrenaline still fueling her anger was pumping hard and strong. Besides, hitting the idiot was very satisfying, even if he was still here and--did he even learn his lesson?! Is his skull really that thick?! No one can be this stupid!]

Compliment?! How was that a compliment, you ignorant fool?! Saying such vulgar things to a lady is an insult! Were you really dropped on your head?! If you want to pay me a compliment, then tell me I'm beautiful, nothing more! Don't focus on my chest, you ill-mannered gorilla!

[Ugh! She's speaking to a brick wall here! No. No, no, no, she is not going to bring herself down by trying to talk sense into this one. She doesn't have the energy to deal with people like this. Breathing hard, Perona turns on her heel, picks up her Pokemon, and marches off. Bye.]

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001 ♑ [video/text + action for new bark]

[Action] - CHARGES IN HERE LIKE A RHINO

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