001 ♑ [video/text + action for new bark]

[soporeffective]

[The video feed switches on, but for some reason, Gamzee starts to type instead of speaking, not even looking into the camera. Perhaps he hadn't noticed he'd initiated the video function, as well. He's got a messy mop of curls on his head, and they insist on falling in his eyes every time he brings that painted face down to look at his Pokégear.]

HeYyY My rIgHtEoUs fReAkY-DeAkY PiNkLaNd iNhAbItAtInG MoThErFuCkErS. :o)
Or wHoEvEr aLl mAy bE At bEiNg tHe mOsT MoThErFuCkIn lUcKiEsT Of rEcIpIeNtS At mY TeXtUaL WeLl-wIsHeS.
I Be aLl sEeMiNg tO Be aT Up aNd hAvInG WhAt's aLl gOtTa bE BeInG LiKe, ThE MoSt wIcKeD Of hAlLuCiNoGeNiCaLlY InDuCeD PiE DrEaMs a mOtHeRfUcKeR WaS EvEr aLl tO Be uP AnD HaViNg fOr hImSeLf, HaHaHa!
I WaSn't eVeN AlL KnOwInG WhAt i cOuLd bE Up iN A PlAcE FoR ImAgInInG BeInG OnE Of tHeM WhO'S AlL SkInNeD In tHe bRoWnY PiNk sHaDeS.
WhAt aLl a bRoThEr's tHiNkPaN CaN Be gEtTiNg aT BeInG ImAgInInG In cOnTiNuEs aLl tO Be a mOtHeRfUcKiN MiRaClE EaCh aNd eVeRy gOd dAmN DaY! :oD

[He looks genuinely carefree, a big ol’ grin slapped on his face. Soon enough, however, his expression falls into that of a more thoughtful nature, though it retains all of its pleasantness.]

BuT, uHhH...
CoUlD I AlL MaYbE Be aSkIn oN A LiTtLe mOtHeRfUcKiN AsSiStAnCe iN, lIkE, wHaT ThE FuCk i'm tO Be uP AnD DoInG AbOuT WoRkIn tHeSe fUnKy hUmAn dIgS?
AnD FuRtHeRmOrE, mAyBe bE GeTtInG YoUr eXpLaIn oN At mE WhY AlL I GoT A FaT PiNk mOtHeRfUcKeR AlL PlOpPeD Up nIcE AnD CoMfY In mY DaMn lAp?
AlL I WaS DoInG WaS GeTtInG My bOnK AnD PrOd oN At tHe fUnNy mOtHeRfUcKiN JuGgLe bAlLs i gOt hErE WiTh mE WhEn dUdE Up aNd iNvAdEd mY MoThErFuCkIn bUbBlE LiKe hE AlL WaS OwNiNg tHe hIvE.
NoT ThAt iT AiN'T No tHiNg, I AlL Be a bRoThEr bElIeViNg iN ShArInG ThE MoThErFuCkIn sPaCe. :o)
I ThInK ThErE WaS SoMe mAnUaLs oR FuCkIn sOmEtHiNg bUt i aIn't sUrE WhErE AlL ThOsE DuDeS WeRe tO Be gEtTiNg uP AnD At.
ThInK I AlL WaS To dRoP ThEm wHeN I SpIlLeD ThE StUfF OuT Of mY HeLlA DoPe bAcKpAcK.
If nOt, It aIn't nO BiG!
I Be aLl sUrE In tHiS MoThErFuCkEr fIgUrInG ThE NoIsE WhAt's lIkE ThAt iS AlL MoThErFuCkIn sTrAiGhT OuT AnD ShIt!
MiRaClEs dOn't fAiL To bE GeTtInG ThEiR HeLp oN At nO MoThErFuCkEr iN NeEd!

[Gamzee takes a moment to visually assess his message, eyes slowly drifting across the screen before becoming obviously distracted halfway through and flicking up to stare at his surroundings. The feed remains on indefinitely.]

☮☮☮

[Later, he had taken to walking. Gamzee had never before tread with feet whose toenails did not push up against the tips of his sneakers. Never before had his head felt so weightless, bereft of its usual pair of massive horns and pointed ears. He could have likened it, perhaps, to the feeling of disjointed euphoria he’d always experienced from a choice tin of sopor – that first taste when you know the shit’s still hot but you all get to be bringing it up in for a taste anyways? Yeahhh. That’s the one. In fact, that wasn’t far off from what he’d been telling himself ever since he’d woken up in this place, disoriented yet pleasantly curious. He’d been briefed about his stay and his new partner, information he paid little attention to, because rules and regulations were just stuffy drivel that no decent whimsical motherfucker ever was to be getting his follow on of. Besides, the scenery and lushness of the land here was too distracting for him to have listened to that hoofbeastshit even if he’d wanted to.]

[Attempting to coerce any sort of conversation, decipherable or not, from the fat, pink creature that was apparently under his immediate supervision proved to be a fruitless endeavor. The only responses he got from it were extremely drawn-out and seemed to tax the thing more than Gamzee was interested in doing. It wasn’t chill to be all forcing a bro to be speaking when all he wasn’t feeling on doing it, for sure. He figured he’d supply the conversation for the both of them, hoisting the little dude (who was decidedly not little) up into his arms and lugging it along as he wandered down the 29th route.]

So, like, you all get your motherfuckin’ live on at what’s this greeny-planty joint all’s at being?

[He began, turning a blithe gaze towards the treetops and carrying on barefoot. His things had been packed away in the bag slung over his shoulder, but Gamzee had neglected to zip it up properly. As a result, all of his belongings were tumbling out of the knapsack as he continued down the trail.]

Or maybe you all is fuckin’ just being a dopey dreamer like this motherfucker? Get your wake on up in here like all just was to be doin’?

[He jostled the critter in his arms, attempting to elicit a response. It stared blankly ahead, swishing its tail laboriously.]

Bro of silence, ain’t you motherfuckin’ just? Nah, no worries, my wicked motherfucker. You ain’t gotta be speaking for all the motherfuckin’ miracles to get their hear on of you. Miracles be a funny motherfucking thing, in that they all be having their notice going of you when all you be least expecting it. Be what’s so fuckin’ great on them brothers, you know?

[He laughed to himself, readjusting his grip on his new friend as his new, pink-skinned feet turned a more familiar gray from the dirt and dust they were collecting.]

No offense to your ass, motherfucker, but I all be hoping I be snappin’ up out this halluci-motherfucking-nation sooner than fucking later, ’cause now that I be thinkin’ on it, I was pretty sure on what I got somethin’ important goin’ on that fucking needs all going back to...

Comments

[Video/Text.]

[soporeffective]

Oh sHiIiT!
We gOt a mOtHeRfUcKiN MyStErY MiRaClE RoUlEtTe oF ToUrIsTs iN ThE LaNd oF FuCkInG ShRuBbErY AnD PiNk dUdEs tOdAy.
NeXt oN ThE ViP LiSt bE MiSs mOtHeRfUcKiN MeTaLlIc mEgIdO HeR FuCkIn sElF!
OnLy yOu aIn't mUcH LoOkIn vErY RoBoT-Y ToDaY.
GoT ThAt sQuIsHy hUsK LiKe wHaT'S AlL I Do tOo.
BuT LiKe.
I AiN'T AlL BeInG AbLe tO MaKe mOtHeRfUcKiN NuGs nOr wAsTe cHuTeS Up oUt tHaT WiCkEd nOiSe yOu bE SpInNiNg aT To mY HeAr dUcTs, Yo.
BuT I CaN AlL Be a mOtHeRfUcKeR To, LiKe, GeT BeHiNd sUcH MeNtIoNiNgS Of cLuBs aNd sHiT WhAt's aLl tO Be lIkE ThAt fUcKiN Is!
HoNk hOnK HoNk.
LiKe wHaT'S ThE OnEs tHaT SpIn oR ThE InClUsAtOrY AsSeMbLiNg oF PeErS OvEr a sHaReD InTeReSt.
WhAtEvEr tHe fUcK MeAnInG Of iT AlL WhIcH Is tHe oNe wHaT YoU WeRe mOtHeRfUcKiNg tO MeAn.
UhHhHh...
I GoT LoTs oF WiCkEd q's yO.
BuT FiRsTlY.
WhY CaN'T I ClImB ShIt? :o(

[Video/Text.]

[timelymaid]

[ Sure, she can roll with a dual function, why not. Gamzee is treated to Aradia in human form. She's wearing what appears to be a haunter shirt. ]

oh i havent been a robot in a long time
even before i got here :)
im ahead of you timewise
and i mean the inclusatory assembling of peers over a shared interest
im not actually sure how one would be in a club that is one that spins??
theres also the clubs of the sort that you go in to dance though
they have stuff like that here
so there are a lot of meanings i could have meant i suppose!!

game mechanics
it wont let you
you can try but you might hurt yourself doing it and its a useless exercise!!
did you note the part about berries
dont eat the berries gamzee

[soporeffective]

[Oh, awesome duds, motherfucker! Gamzee's eyes crinkle as he beams, taking a moment to study human Aradia and her funky fresh wardrobe.]

Wicked fuckin' threads, yo! Look at your motherfuckin' ass, all pinkified and righteously baller as a damn miracle ever up and was...! Guess you ain't no rusty bitch no more! Er, in the metal ways, I mean.

[He'd forgotten to type that out, whoops. At least the video was rolling mutually, now. He absently ran his tongue over his weird, blunt fangs.]

And I was meaning the clubs as in what's all I'm having much the motherfuckin' affinity to. Them ones that can be all thrown to get their dance on in the motherfuckin' air, or clobber some imps with, yeah? Wish I had them motherfuckers with me...

[He sniffed his nose, twitching it a bit before returning to his rambling.]

Ah, these little dudes!?

[There's another grin as he holds up a pair of the devilish things.]

They was all hangin' ripe as can be, waiting for a motherfucker to get his hunger on, and shit if they ain't calling my mother fucking name!

[No, he didn't seem to catch the part about the berries. He was too hungry to listen to words of wisdom.]

video;

[timelymaid]

Oh, thanks! John got me this shirt a little while ago. Isn't it great??? It glows in the dark, too! And yep, I'm not a robot any longer! I'm actually a fairy. Normally! But I'm not right now. And technically I'm not a rust anything, since we all have the human blood here.

[ She just flips functions entirely. Aradia tends to roll with whatever the other person uses, as a rule. ]

Oh, no one has any weapons here. Or powers! It's a thing.

[ lklawjstlksjrtl gdi gamzee. Aradia frowns, for once. ]

You really oughtn't eat them! They'll make you sick. They're for pokemon only!! [ it was in the guide you didn't read :T

though considering he could eat sopor maybe berries won't be that bad? It's not like he can die...

EITHER WAY, NOT LIKE SHE CAN DO MUCH ABOUT IT FROM HERE. Maybe she'll point this out to Karkat and let him worry about it. ]

Anyway! I guess I should give you the list of who all is here! I'm up in Mahogany - that's actually this region, only Kanaya and I are over here, though...Sollux is coming back. Oh, actually...Eridan might still be in Johto? I'm not sure. I should text him again soon. And I think Equius is still in this region but I'm not sure. I'll bother him again soon, too.

Then in Kanto - that's another region - we have...Karkat, who I think is still with the humans. Our humans, I mean. John, Rose, Dave, Jade, Jane - and then two of the human lusuii, Mom and Bro.

[hystericull]

[As she rambles off a list of names and locations, Gamzee tries his best to keep up with her, eyes shifting in and out of focus, straying off to the side, crossing, uncrossing, falling shut, snapping open, etc.]

Fuuuck, you can fuckin' talk, girl.

[Laughing to himself, he lets the berries fall to his side on the ground, scratching at his chin just below the line of facepaint - a boundary he was so used to, he didn't have to think about where it was anymore.]

So, like, there be more peeps here than all what's just you and Karkat is? Fuckin' wicked! When we all gettin' up to having our reunification on and throwin' down some celebratory human shindigs!?

[He became quite animated at this point, fully enraptured in the fantasy of a human monster party.]

[timelymaid]

[ You'd think she's a Light player at this rate, geeze. But that's the normal stuff she tells the newcomers from their home, happily infodumping. ]

Yes, there are! And I've no idea? It sort of depends on when there's some reason for us all to go to the same place. Almost everyone in Kanto right now hates Johto - seriously, Karkat's black for it as far as I can tell and don't talk to John about Violet - so they try not to come over here when at all possible. The last time we were all in one place was...Christmas? I think?

We also all mostly got together for the Lalonde slash Strider and Harley slash English wiggling day parties, but we haven't really celebrated any other wiggling days as a group so far. We already went past the ones Sollux, Eridan and I picked, Equius chose tomorrow, and Kanaya's in August? And then Karkat's in September.

I did promise to throw Karkat a party, so I suppose the earliest upcoming one is September if he doesn't revoke all my party rights before then.

[soporeffective]

Aw, fuck, wiggling day festivities!?

[Gamzee shifted in place excitedly, the prospect of such celebrations fresh in his imagination. He'd never really experienced one, or been to anyone else's, so what idea he did have of them were solely based on portrayals in the media.]

Mmm... them's was a motherfuckin' soiled garments list of peeps of what some I ain't even gettin' my fucking recognition on of, but, uhhhh... not like a motherfucker all needs some trivial thing like introductions to be havin' himself attendin' a bitchin' bash like what's them's all to be soundin' on.

[He flashes some big, crooked teeth again, ever-jubilant. Suddenly, though, he looked alarmed.]

Fuck!! Equius' be tomorrow!? Like, the day what comes right the fuck up after the one that's now?

[His eyes flicked around frantically, trying to catch his bearings.]

Dunno if all I can be getting my ass to no place what's for would be such a prospective baller throw-down as what's that would be, girl!

Uh, mostly 'cause I ain't got no fuckin' idea where's where.

[There was a sad honk. Usually, he wouldn't mind being lost, but a friend's birthday party was at stake, here.]

[timelymaid]

Yes! You'll need to pick one, too, Gamzee!

[ Or she'll text him periodically until he does, like she did with Equius.

Why do people talk to her. ]

It's okay! Given when you came from, I wouldn't be surprised about it...!

[ And Aradia nods, with a return grin. Though she's not alarmed, she...definitely has no idea where Equius actually is. ]

Hm. Well, we're not having a party since we're so spread out, but...you can always get him a present! I've already got mine picked out, but I've also had months. I'm sure he wouldn't mind a late gift, though.

I'm not actually sure where he is. The last time we spoke, he was on an icy mountain?

[soporeffective]

[At the suggestion that he pick a wiggling day, Gamzee's eyes turned to saucers. Honestly, he couldn't even remember when it was back home, so he'd probably forget the one he picked here unless he wrote it down on a semi-adhesive retention square and stuck it to his forehead at all times.]

Fuckin' really!? I can be all choosing a day? Any motherfuckin' day? And that's all when motherfuckin' I get a party for me? With all y'all coming and stuff?

[The questions dropped from his mouth like an excited child, relentless and incessant, until he picked up on another one of Aradia's comments.]

Aww, shit! I be so down will all sorts of gift-giving motherfuckin' festivities! I ain't got nothin' but some old damn clothes and shit in this bag mine, but I can all be makin' him somethin' even more bitchin' that all what this weird fuckin' human currency can be buying!

[Aradia, you're really good at riling him up. The only downside is that you have to deal with this rambunctious idiot and his never-ending questions.]

[timelymaid]

Yep! As long as there's a party planned, that is. For my wiggling day I just made Sollux and Jake and Dirk take me out for a group dinner. ...This was back when Jake and Dirk were here; they aren't now, so you don't need to worry about them.

[ Luckily for Gamzee, Aradia doesn't seem to mind endless questions at all. She likes being useful; it comes with the territory! ...Or did, when she was helping out in the afterlife. ]

I'm sure he'll like anything you get him! After all, it being Equius, I expect he isn't expecting anything?

[soporeffective]

I ain't even be knowing on who all the fuck them bitches are, to be real.

[He laughed, now considering her next statement.]

The time for when to be all motherfuckin' gettin' your gift on at another motherfucker be all perfectly when they ain't having no expectings of it, don't you all fuckin' agree on that?

[timelymaid]

Well, you're a bit early to know most of them! So I wouldn't worry about it. You can meet them here!!

[ Aradia considers that, and then nods. ]

I think that's true! Besides, he's gotten me presents on holidays before...so I think it's important to return the favor.