soporeffective | 001 ♑ [video/text + action for new bark]

001 ♑ [video/text + action for new bark]

[The video feed switches on, but for some reason, Gamzee starts to type instead of speaking, not even looking into the camera. Perhaps he hadn't noticed he'd initiated the video function, as well. He's got a messy mop of curls on his head, and they insist on falling in his eyes every time he brings that painted face down to look at his Pokégear.]

HeYyY My rIgHtEoUs fReAkY-DeAkY PiNkLaNd iNhAbItAtInG MoThErFuCkErS. :o)
Or wHoEvEr aLl mAy bE At bEiNg tHe mOsT MoThErFuCkIn lUcKiEsT Of rEcIpIeNtS At mY TeXtUaL WeLl-wIsHeS.
I Be aLl sEeMiNg tO Be aT Up aNd hAvInG WhAt's aLl gOtTa bE BeInG LiKe, ThE MoSt wIcKeD Of hAlLuCiNoGeNiCaLlY InDuCeD PiE DrEaMs a mOtHeRfUcKeR WaS EvEr aLl tO Be uP AnD HaViNg fOr hImSeLf, HaHaHa!
I WaSn't eVeN AlL KnOwInG WhAt i cOuLd bE Up iN A PlAcE FoR ImAgInInG BeInG OnE Of tHeM WhO'S AlL SkInNeD In tHe bRoWnY PiNk sHaDeS.
WhAt aLl a bRoThEr's tHiNkPaN CaN Be gEtTiNg aT BeInG ImAgInInG In cOnTiNuEs aLl tO Be a mOtHeRfUcKiN MiRaClE EaCh aNd eVeRy gOd dAmN DaY! :oD

[He looks genuinely carefree, a big ol’ grin slapped on his face. Soon enough, however, his expression falls into that of a more thoughtful nature, though it retains all of its pleasantness.]

BuT, uHhH...
CoUlD I AlL MaYbE Be aSkIn oN A LiTtLe mOtHeRfUcKiN AsSiStAnCe iN, lIkE, wHaT ThE FuCk i'm tO Be uP AnD DoInG AbOuT WoRkIn tHeSe fUnKy hUmAn dIgS?
AnD FuRtHeRmOrE, mAyBe bE GeTtInG YoUr eXpLaIn oN At mE WhY AlL I GoT A FaT PiNk mOtHeRfUcKeR AlL PlOpPeD Up nIcE AnD CoMfY In mY DaMn lAp?
AlL I WaS DoInG WaS GeTtInG My bOnK AnD PrOd oN At tHe fUnNy mOtHeRfUcKiN JuGgLe bAlLs i gOt hErE WiTh mE WhEn dUdE Up aNd iNvAdEd mY MoThErFuCkIn bUbBlE LiKe hE AlL WaS OwNiNg tHe hIvE.
NoT ThAt iT AiN'T No tHiNg, I AlL Be a bRoThEr bElIeViNg iN ShArInG ThE MoThErFuCkIn sPaCe. :o)
I ThInK ThErE WaS SoMe mAnUaLs oR FuCkIn sOmEtHiNg bUt i aIn't sUrE WhErE AlL ThOsE DuDeS WeRe tO Be gEtTiNg uP AnD At.
ThInK I AlL WaS To dRoP ThEm wHeN I SpIlLeD ThE StUfF OuT Of mY HeLlA DoPe bAcKpAcK.
If nOt, It aIn't nO BiG!
I Be aLl sUrE In tHiS MoThErFuCkEr fIgUrInG ThE NoIsE WhAt's lIkE ThAt iS AlL MoThErFuCkIn sTrAiGhT OuT AnD ShIt!
MiRaClEs dOn't fAiL To bE GeTtInG ThEiR HeLp oN At nO MoThErFuCkEr iN NeEd!

[Gamzee takes a moment to visually assess his message, eyes slowly drifting across the screen before becoming obviously distracted halfway through and flicking up to stare at his surroundings. The feed remains on indefinitely.]

☮☮☮

[Later, he had taken to walking. Gamzee had never before tread with feet whose toenails did not push up against the tips of his sneakers. Never before had his head felt so weightless, bereft of its usual pair of massive horns and pointed ears. He could have likened it, perhaps, to the feeling of disjointed euphoria he’d always experienced from a choice tin of sopor – that first taste when you know the shit’s still hot but you all get to be bringing it up in for a taste anyways? Yeahhh. That’s the one. In fact, that wasn’t far off from what he’d been telling himself ever since he’d woken up in this place, disoriented yet pleasantly curious. He’d been briefed about his stay and his new partner, information he paid little attention to, because rules and regulations were just stuffy drivel that no decent whimsical motherfucker ever was to be getting his follow on of. Besides, the scenery and lushness of the land here was too distracting for him to have listened to that hoofbeastshit even if he’d wanted to.]

[Attempting to coerce any sort of conversation, decipherable or not, from the fat, pink creature that was apparently under his immediate supervision proved to be a fruitless endeavor. The only responses he got from it were extremely drawn-out and seemed to tax the thing more than Gamzee was interested in doing. It wasn’t chill to be all forcing a bro to be speaking when all he wasn’t feeling on doing it, for sure. He figured he’d supply the conversation for the both of them, hoisting the little dude (who was decidedly not little) up into his arms and lugging it along as he wandered down the 29th route.]

So, like, you all get your motherfuckin’ live on at what’s this greeny-planty joint all’s at being?

[He began, turning a blithe gaze towards the treetops and carrying on barefoot. His things had been packed away in the bag slung over his shoulder, but Gamzee had neglected to zip it up properly. As a result, all of his belongings were tumbling out of the knapsack as he continued down the trail.]

Or maybe you all is fuckin’ just being a dopey dreamer like this motherfucker? Get your wake on up in here like all just was to be doin’?

[He jostled the critter in his arms, attempting to elicit a response. It stared blankly ahead, swishing its tail laboriously.]

Bro of silence, ain’t you motherfuckin’ just? Nah, no worries, my wicked motherfucker. You ain’t gotta be speaking for all the motherfuckin’ miracles to get their hear on of you. Miracles be a funny motherfucking thing, in that they all be having their notice going of you when all you be least expecting it. Be what’s so fuckin’ great on them brothers, you know?

[He laughed to himself, readjusting his grip on his new friend as his new, pink-skinned feet turned a more familiar gray from the dirt and dust they were collecting.]

No offense to your ass, motherfucker, but I all be hoping I be snappin’ up out this halluci-motherfucking-nation sooner than fucking later, ’cause now that I be thinkin’ on it, I was pretty sure on what I got somethin’ important goin’ on that fucking needs all going back to...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ incoming one Training for Dummies file. ]

VIDEO OR TEXT, MAKARA.
PICK ONE OR THE OTHER.

Edited 2013-07-09 01:32 (UTC)

[No, you get both still, sorry. He's never been very good at following directions, and disregards Karkat's helpful contribution almost entirely. That being said, that familiar grey text was something he wasn't expecting to see here. Or, maybe he was? This was his hallucination, after all. Who else would he dream up to be aiding him in this funky monster quest?]

[Gamzee's face splits in a grin, exposing those creepy, flat human teeth. They were still crooked, though. At least some things never change.]

FuUuUuUcK!
WhAt tHe fUcK Is uUuP, mY BrOtHeR? :oD
CaN'T SaY I WaSn't mUcH ExPeCtInG To aLl bE HeArInG FrOm a mOtHeRfUcKeR WhAt's sUcH As yOuRsElF AlL Is sO MoThErFuCkIn sOoN.
On aCcOuNt oF MoThErFuCkIn uSuAlLy tHe cHuMpS GeTtInG ThEiR ApPeAr aLl oN In tHe dReAmY TiMeS AfTeR I GeT A ChAnCe tO GeT My eXpLoRe gOiNg a lItTlE.
NoT ThAt tHeRe bE AlL AnY SoRt oF CoMpLaInInG FlYiNg fRoM ThIs mOtHeRfUcKeR'S SqUaWk bOx oN ThE MaTtEr!
ThE FuCk iS YoU So wE CaN AlL KiCk tHiS FoReStY CiRcUs bItCh aLl oUt lIkE WhAt's tHe wAy iT Up aNd wAs aLl pRoPhEsIeD To bE?

Oh yEaH.
I DiDn't rEaD ThE ThInG YoU SeNt mE EiThEr.
HoNk. :o)

[ Karkat doesn't even have to ask from where Gamzee hails. he already knows. augh... that text. doesn't know if it is relief or just sad. it's a difficult feeling, knowing that this asshole pretty much just drops you.

but that doesn't really matter here. but it's still annoying to read that text. ]

GAMZEE, I CAN SEE YOU ON THE VIEWPORT JUST FINE.
IT'S NOT NECESSARY TO KEEP YOUR PRONG PATTERING AWAY AT THE KEYS WHEN YOU CAN JUST TALK.
NOT THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BELIEVE ME, BUT YOU'RE NOT DREAMING EITHER.
THIS IS MOTHERFUCKING REALITY.
ALSO?
DON'T YOU DARE MENTION ANOTHER WORD ABOUT YOUR CRAZY ASS RELIGION.
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT AND IT WILL MOST DEFINITELY DO NOTHING BUT ENCOURAGE THE RAGE THAT IS SLOWLY BUBBLING UP IN THIS GROTESQUE HUMAN FORM TO EXPLODE INTO A FIERY VOLCANO THAT WILL ONLY RESULT IN A DAMAGED LANDSCAPE AND A FEW CASUALTIES.

AND I KNOW YOU DIDN'T READ IT, YOU PAN ROTTED IDIOT.

[The chat feature remains on, but Gamzee stops typing for now, choosing instead to press his face up against the Pokégear to see Karkat a little better. He didn't really take the time out to think about what his own viewport might be showing Karkat from this angle, though. Have some pores.]

Whoaaaa, there you fuckin' are! You're a fuckin' star monkey, too, hahaha! Why ain't you motherfuckin' speaking the wicked noise at a motherfucker if all you be so insistent on using the cam, brother!?

[ Karkat groans, turning on his end of the feed. hold on, just rubbing his temples here. ]

I said one or the other. Like I give a damn which one you use...

Coincidentally, I'm not entirely sure if you'd know the sound of my voice.

[Gamzee blinks for a second. Ah, yes, much clearer! Say goodbye to x10 pore magnification as he leans back a little.]

[There's a long pause as he takes in his friend's full human-ified appearance. He still looked like Karkat, somehow. Humans and trolls had similar facial features, so even if his skin was a different color, and everything was more or less squishier and rounder, the guy's look wasn't changed too drastically.]

[There's another wide grin at the sight of an angry Kat. It was an emotion he could appreciate. As long as Karkat was irritated with absolutely everything he was doing, he knew things were all right.]

Hahaha, bro, that has got to all motherfuckin' be being the biggest, most wickedest pile of hoofbeastshit this motherfucker all was ever to be getting his hear on of!

[He laughed, drawing his legs up and settling the Pokégear against his knees.]

That be one God damn sound I ain't hoping to get scraped up off my motherfuckin' sound tunnels for as long as I mother fucking live!

Edited (fuck you) 2013-07-09 03:27 (UTC)

[ yeah... all that time in the sun makes Karkat one tan dude. all in all, he's just older. bone structure and all that is more or less the same.

still, he rolls his red eyes. ]

You keep telling yourself that, Gamzee. As for why I'm not there? Dude, I am on the other fucking region. It would take at least a week or so to drag your sorry carcass around.

Uh, what region?

[Gamzee pulls a face, peeling his eyes away from his best friend for a brief moment to actually assess his surroundings.]

I ain't even got the motherfucking foggiest where all I'm up and at right now, motherfucker.

Should I even bother...

[ will Gamzee even REMEMBER this happened? well Karkat is somewhat of a masochist. might as well, right? ]

You're in a town called New Bark. It's in a region called Johto. It's neighbor is Kanto.

To get to you, I'd have to fly to Saffron, take the train to Goldenrod, and then fly to your location some more.

text

[Video/Text.]

still text

[Video, fine he'll bite, you jerk!!!]

CACKLING

oh good lord pretend i can read lmfao dies forever

you play gamzee, dude

it's affecting my brain

it was only a matter of time

textjack just for a second

dfasdf ARADIA

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SHE REFUSES TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS, KARKAT

LOCKED TIGHTER THAN THAT CHASTITY BELT FROM MEN IN TIGHTS

locked normally because she's not karkat

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PRESUMABLY STILL LOCKED unless karkat failed again.

oh no it's all locked